if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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