hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just found puke in my bra..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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