Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
