I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
