At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
