i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
