I want to stick my p in your. b.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
