Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sobbing to NWA
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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