you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
