Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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