hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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