we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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