I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You ever have a fart follow you around?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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