I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize