Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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