btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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