She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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