Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
