Me. At least after what I've been through.
just tell him i said nine months
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
