who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
