Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
