idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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