I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
