i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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