I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
