I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
