White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
