Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Buhtt sex?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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