So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
