I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
