Are we in a gay sports bar?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
