So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize