insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
