The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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