just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
