i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize