I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
