Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
