Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Text me some of your sweat
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