oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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