that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
All the doctor said was why
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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