I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
