Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
