True but thats because hes a fetus.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
