like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
