Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
