I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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