it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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