I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
