Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
