there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
