Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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